Inner thoughts

Mixed Feelings

Today quite a few pple came over and asked me whether I'm leaving ctb, where I'm goin, what will I be doing, how much e pay there etc...quite vexed actually especially by those I'm not close/familiar at all, don feel comfortable letting em noe. BUT guess news spread very quickly over at ctb, once you start telling a few pple, somehow or rather e rest will come to noe abt it...haiz...

Quite a no. of pple are surprised tat e pay I'm being offered is on par w my current basic pay, kept askg why I don continue stayg at ctb since I'm able to earn much more over here. Of course tell em wanna learn other things and also feel that e experience I had at ctb is not really fantastic at all so can't request for higher pay...but deep inside me I did tot of askg em b4 I signed e contract, but decided to keep it mum anyway...guess once you gotten used to a certain pay, it's very difficult to lower your expectations (applies especially to most citibankers). I'm still quite ok actually cos' tis is only my 2nd job, I will just treat e pay as a trade-off to gain other experience. However, I couldn't help thinking whether I had made e right choice, I've forsaken my incentives for this job, which may end up to be another "shitty" job.

Anyway, I'm really relieved that I won't have to chase pple for $, but kinda sad that I can't bring home as much $ as b4 (kinda contradicting ya) :( Looks like I seriously need to change my mentality b4 I embark on my new job, I really must else I will not feel happy mm. The thought of having to start everything all over kinda scares me...dunno how my colleagues will be like, whether I like e job scope, whether there will be pple to lunch w me, whether have to work alot of OT, whether my boss is nice, whether I'm able to perform, whether there are career advancements opportunity, whether tis experience will be helpful in my next job etc,etc...there's just too many ???

Guess I will always be thinking these ??? till e day I start my new job, quite zhi4 xun2 fan2 nao3 rite? But this is me...I tend to worry/think abt lotsa things one lor...

posted by wy_7177 @ 4:01 PM